I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane

I am not sure what made me think of this memory this morning......When Ether was home before he left on his mission I was having a hard day and in a sad/bad mood.....I had to leave to run an errand or go somewhere and as I was walking out the door Ether said to me "Where are you going, Mom?" I said "I am leaving on a jet plane," (almost thinking out loud, wishing I could get out of Dodge). Ether said "Don't know when you will be back again?" (If you don't know the Peter, Paul, and Mary song you won't get this :). His quick wit made me laugh out loud and almost instantly it changed my mood! That day my heart took a picture and this memory still makes me laugh!
I am missing my son again....I mean I miss him all the time, but some days it is harder than others. I try to be stoic and don't let on that I miss him, but I do. Some days I will be taken by surprise when I hear a song on the radio that Ether has sung and I am almost in instant tears.
Ether is doing well on his mission and he just LOVES his mission and the people! I am so VERY proud of him! He is amazing! His testimony has grown and he has grown as a person. All moms can understand that precious feeling of seeing your childs growth and it is a feeling only the heart knows.

Parenting

The words below are not my own, but how I feel and I am stealing bits and parts of a comment written on another favorite blog of mine.....Mary Ostyn. I have changed a few sentences here and there, but I really like how she says what she says.

-----"Seems like every stage of parenthood is about growing and stretching and adapting. When you’ve got babies, a lot is physical. Picking up, carrying, doing everything for this little one whose needs don’t know day or night. It is a precious and wonderful time, but oh, so tiring.

In the middle years there’s much teaching and learning, accompanied inevitably by challenging behavior, with the need for loving, creative and consistent consequences. During that phase of kids’ lives, it seems like I’m always thinking, scheming better ways to encourage kindness, right behavior and wise habits.

But now, with two of my children officially adults, I’m having to learn a new, less active style of parenting. It’s less and less my job to be a problem-solver. Instead I’m called upon to sit back, wait, watch, pray, hope. To be available to give advice, but to wait til I am asked to give it. (Although I have given advice when not asked). Oh, this is hard for me! Crazy-hard. Harder than getting up six times a night with a teeny one. Harder than teaching a 6 year old to read. Harder than dealing with an ornery 13-year-old. Harder even than riding with a brand new driver. I’m a doer, you see. A person who makes things happen. This mothering transformation reminds me of a line from the movie Aladdin: “Phenomenal cosmic power. Itty bitty living space.” The line refers to the genie in the lamp, of course. Stay with me for a second.
As a mom of younger kids I’m used to occupying a large space in my kids’ lives. With grown kids I’m realizing the need to stuff myself back in the lamp, to give my kids space to live life on their own, to wait til they call on me for help. Oh, there are times when I live at a loving, comfortable distance. Other times I successfully fake composure by biting my tongue hard and smiling a lot. But other times I just plain fail. I’m all over decisions that should be theirs, in their business, sure I’ve got a better plan of action. Yeah, maybe I have reasons to want to step in.
Freedom to choose also means freedom to make mistakes, after all. And sometimes I can see them coming. But, hello!? Who doesn’t make mistakes? Mistakes are a part of life. So lately I’ve found myself in this herky-lerky uncomfortable place, acknowledging the normalcy – the necessity — of my shrinking role in their lives, but faltering at times in the execution of that new role."

In my own words.....parenting of older children is so different. It is after all what we are supposed to do.....to raise them, guide them, teach them, love and nuture them.....so that they are ready to be indepedent and go out on their own. I wonder if Heavenly Father feels this way when he sends us to earth?

Overload

I guess I must be getting old.....when I tried to log in to post a new post here, I apparently forgot my e-mail address and it wouldn't let me in! Who forgets their e-mail address? My mind is like a computer......memory is full, hard drive is full, hope it doesn't crash!

Conversations

Marissa: Can I go buy a dress, I only have 3 outfits for church.

Me: I have one black skirt that I have been wearing for the last 4 years every Sunday.

Marissa: Well, I am not saying your old, but older people don't care about their appearance or styles. They pretty much wear the same thing all the time anyway.

Me: What? We do too care about how we look. Believe me, if I had 10 different outfits, I would wear them.

Marissa: Well it is more important for teenagers to have different clothes to wear because we are conscious about style and how we look.

*Sigh* *BIG SIGH* You know, I just had a revelation.......the reason all the "old" people wear the same clothes is because they are sacrifing their own fashion statement and needs and are buying clothes for their children.

Specialties?

Almost all of us at our house like to work in the kitchen!
While I was doing dishes (and making an apple crumble), I was pondering (ha!) on what each person in our family likes to make or bake in the kitchen.

Pat - "Salsa man." I will get to that in a minute! He likes to make a lot of different things, namely anything with meat. In the summertime when the time for grilling comes along, he will go to town on grilling all kinds of meat, some of which we will eat for dinner that night and the rest for freezing to savor later. I will also call him our "salsa" man. Last year with our garden produce we decided to try our hand at making salsa. We made some fresh salsa (which I helped with and it was pretty darn good) and some cooked salsa which we then froze in quart baggies. Depending on who you ask, he might have gone over board. We still have 12 quart bags of salsa in the freezer!!

Cindy - "chocolate girl." I love to make all kinds of desserts with chocolate.....cookies, cakes, scones, brownies, etc. I also like baking anything in general. I take after my mom who loves baking!! I also like making pies! When my mom realized that when I was a teenager I had the pie making stuff down, she refused to make any at that point and I became the family pie baker forever more! I still have that job today for family gatherings!

I have this secret dream (its not a secret anymore) of wanting to have my own Bake Shoppe. (I can hear the guffaws already, I know, I need to perfect my cake decorating)! I would take great joy in making sugar cookies, cakes, brownies, and all kinds of delectable sweets like things you see in magazines!

Ether - He is our "cookie man." He just absolutely loves to make chocolate chip cookies. Got a craving for chocolate chip cookies, or just chocolate, all you had to do was ask Ether and he would whip up a batch in no time!

Marikita - I think she missed out on the cooking gene somewhere! I don't recall her EVER making anything in the kitchen. She just has no interest in creating anything in the kitchen. That's okay, she is talented in so many other areas! She will be famous or rich, or both someday and she will probalby hire a cook anyway!

Marissa - "Apple crumble girl."- When it comes to making desserts, Marissa almost always hands down, will make an apple crumble and she does a dang good job at it. She takes pride in what she makes and you cannot hurry her along. She also loves making sugar cookies and is talented at decorating them! She is also 2nd in line when it comes to making choc chip cookies.

Gretchen and Hannah - They are just getting the hang of cookie making! It is funny, their favorite part of baking is cracking the egg! They will stick to the task of the making and take off when it is time for the baking! I am left holding the bowl!

SPRING

I am so happy that Spring is almost here!! Yipee!! Spring is really my favorite season! I love all the other seasons too, but there is just something about spring that makes you feel alive and renewed.

About 8:00 this morning I could hear the birds singing outside my bedroom window. No, I wasn't sleeping, I was working, but I wished I were still sleeping! I just absolutely love hearing the birds sing and it really gives me joy! I guess I am weird, but I never get tired of hearing the birds chirping and singing. When the weather is warmer and we start opening the windows, Pat will get frustated when he is awakened by the song of the birds and he wants me to close the window, but I just want to lay there and listen! Growing up on a farm might have something to do with it! We didn't have air conditioning in our old farm house and so the windows were our source of cool air! I would wake up every morning to the birds singing and the sun shining.

Hearing the birds sing their song reminds me that spring is on its way, that the earth will be renewed with fresh green color in the grass and the trees, flowers with their abundant rainbow of colors and fresh, wonderful air. Out with the old , in with the new!

Spring also reminds me of Christ's sacrifice for us and that through Him and His Atonement, we can purge out sin, be renewed, and live with bright hope for this life and eternal life.

Happy Spring !!

Melancholy

I know I have posted something similar to what I am going to say, but I am going to say it again.

I have decided that watching kids grow up is hard on my heart. Even as I rejoice with kids on each new step of life’s adventure, my heart has pangs watching them go. As you all know, our oldest Ether, now 20 years old is serving a mission in Colombia, South America and he is doing great! Our 18 year old daughter Marikita is in her Freshman year at college and doing great! Marissa is a Junior and oh too soon will be a senior in 5 months! Sigh. Just when they were getting all civilized and are so danged fun to be around…....I wish I could tell all my friends how to prepare for the days when the kids start leaving the house. When all the kids were little I remember people older than me saying "they grow up so fast." I kept thinking, oh...that is a long time away! How do parents survive all this growing up, anyway..? Realizing how fast kids grow up makes me want to hug everyone more.